Many years ago, while in a job that I hated, one of my bosses ‘offered’ to spunk on my legs, among other delights. There was no preamble. We had barely spoken more than 50 words to one another in the ten or so months I’d worked there; there was precious little overlap in our duties [...]
Everyone calls me Bim. Everyone. For most of my life that’s what I’ve gone by. Bim. B-I-M. Three letters, one syllable. Bim. When I was concerned by these things, I would lament its cuteness – “that’s not a sexy name,” I would think. I would put on Billy Crystal’s voice and paraphrase his line from [...]
At a party in a pub around Christmastime, I met a woman who said she had been in love seven times in her life. My mind was blown. “Seven times?” I asked incredulously. Inwardly, I screamed “WHO ARE YOU, WOMAN?” Seven is a lot, but really, so is one: I can’t say I’ve ever been [...]
Hey kids – it’s FRIDAAAY! Here have this joy of a track, courtesy Santigold: How’s your life? All good? Are you, like me, noting the way the sun is setting later and later? I made it to 5:30pm(!) before turning on the lights just a few days ago, and almost cracked open the champagne to [...]
1. In 2010, singer John Mayer gave an interview to Playboy magazine, in which he explored an ‘interesting’ philosophy regarding his penis and black women: “I don’t think I open myself to [black women],” he said. “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock.” 2. Also [...]
